Viva la vida

Who wouldn't waste a breath to draw a thin line of a smile ? 
                 Who wouldn't try to freeze the clock for a minute full of silence ? 

                                 

              Sometimes I think I can stop the time , but in a minute beside the world I see that the clockwises decide my moment  . And even when I shot for the sky , the fragile pieces of my existance are letting me down , just to remind me that I'm always gonna be a step behind the sun ... behind you   . Behind the boy who cries the nights , behind the lady who stares at the life while it's going away , behind the heroe who dies nameless ... behind the mother who has no chance to say  goodbye . 

            Sometimes I let it scare me , sometimes  I just can't fight back . It's a circle ..so like our choices ... they both begin from "what I want" , they come through the " what I will " and they end in a short " what I didn't " . But though we still want to taste more . We still believe in that .... I believed till yesterday I was alone ... alone in a crowd of missioneries  .A stranger in my own home ... an orphan in my own family  , a star in a lonely orbit of a galaxy .  I consume on that memories, on that thoughts . It's like a little amount of opium which graounds me to life by devouring my soul , by dying .... 
       And there's a lot of things I still have to say ... a lot of things I have to do ... and nothing in return ... 
Maybe one day I will be strong enough to give instead of take ...