Monday, July 22, 2013

Myself over me

Broken pieces lie all ove rthe floor . One of those resembles to my heart but without the shape it doesn't make it feel right . I try to gather them so badly cause my bare feet feel the pain of their sharp blade . No matter how hard I try to put them in place , to gie them form , I fail . And as I watch every attempt to consume in the greatest battle with my self I realise that I was the one who caused me all of these scars. 
  Now I remeber it's me to blame for my misery . I was always negatie and dark . I never gave to anyone a second chance because I thoought that it is overrrated . I never tried to keep someone in my heart , I don't know why , but that is true . I was always try to push them away . I can't feel the same joy with others , or the same spark with others . When they are having fun , I am suffocating alone . Perhaps the skin I live in it's not that comfortable , or I never tried to make it  so . 
   I hardly ever smile with my heart  , and when I do , usually it's because of a lie . Yes , for all the things I craved they were nothing but a lie . A game of my wickened mind . It is really hard for me to come along with others , because I always try to shelter my kingdom of ghosts and dust . I am nothing but a misquided ghost ... nothing but a looser , if we consider life as a game . These dark thougts , never abandon the ship of my head , never . They reproduce every while and then  and as they burn they grow darker in shadows I never thought that could exist . 
   I am marked as a fugative , a scar that will always make my chest ache . I am alone , because I run . Perhaps I drunk too much wine and I can't see clearly the seasons of the sun . But with wine I am sure , cause now I remember the bitter taste , I have drunk a drop of poison ... It's a civil war I guess cause every blood -cell  of my body attacks to every small piece of my collapsing heart . Who is going to win me or myself ? Not to spoil the end or underestimate me , but the winner is not here .... not even close such as even my deepest scars will disappear leaving me once again alone ...